i spoke to my old friend, jarrod, on saturday. we have pretty similar backgrounds in terms of religious views and associations. i believed for a long time in christ and god and all of the bible's teachings and happenings until i began listening to my doubts and asking questions. i walked away from all of that when i was 21. it was the hardest decision of my life, but was the best decision i ever made. that is obviously a very brief summary.
jarrod and i (along with a butt load of people around the world) both feel like the bible has some good things to say in terms of morality (let's not get into an apologetics debate, here) but those things tend to get thrown on the back burner or overshadowed by the more 'fire and brimstone' or 'weeping and gnashing of teeth' aspects of the book.
i don't mean for this to be an anti-religion posting, by the way. i have a lot of christian friends who i greatly respect, and who are much smarter than i. i just want to give some background for this new project that jarrod asked me to be a part of! i don't want to give too much away because the veggies have just been thrown in the pot and need some time to stew, but it's something that will allow me to use that HUGE part of myself and my life in my artwork, which i have previously been kind of afraid to do. and that's what art is about, right? (let's not get into a 'what is art' debate, here.) so, i'm SUPER DUPER excited about it!
anyway, here is something that jarrod wrote...
So God visited me the other day because I have been challenging Him to prove His existence and He showed up at my house. We went out for drinks. I had none. He had many. After a lot of chatter and much beer, on His part, we stumbled upon the topic of The Ten Commandments. I inquired as to why only a few of them seem applicable to life and the others seem pretty pointless and vain. He told me that at the time Moses visited Him, He was in the dumps because of all the killing He had been doing and just wasn’t Himself. Plus, He felt fat that day. He admitted to just making them up on the spot because He forgot that Moses had an appointment with Him. Now, He has had more time to think about and observe human behavior and decided to change them. I borrowed a pen from the bartender and started writing everything down on cocktail napkins.
The following is the gist of what He said. I couldn’t get every word because He talks so fast. Also, I omitted most of the profanity. (He was pretty drunk at the time.) Here goes, in no particular order:
The Ten Commandments v2.0
1. The Golden Rule – This is an easy one. Do unto others as you would have done to you. God was actually going to put this in the original draft but he assumed it too elementary to mention. Don’t kill, rape, steal and all the bullshit that doesn’t do any good for anyone.
2. Maintain Perspective – All life is, is the way you process the world around you. That’s it, in a nutshell. Most situations can be changed to alter the way you feel about them even when the end result is the same. When we lose money in the laundry, we are pissed. When we lose it at gun point, and get away with our lives, we are relieved. If a storm knocks out a window, we are bummed. If a vandal knocks out a window, we are angry. In either case the outcome is the same, you are out money or a window, but the emotions can be very different. Try not to get mad simply because there is someone to get mad at. Try. God knows it’s hard, but try. If a situation can, in your mind, be manipulated to be okay, then it is probably not worth being upset over. If it cannot, such as a family member dying or something of that nature, then it is worth getting upset over. It’s all a test. Life is a constant test. Don’t fail.
3. Be Present – Find the time in your life when you are completely present, sometime when you are not thinking of yesterday or tomorrow. Some people find this at a gym, on a stage, listening to music, spending time with a loved one or a pet. Whatever it is, find it and do it as much as possible. Do the fuck out of it. It’s real living.
4. Don’t Fuck with Kids – Ever. Do not harm them physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or in any way. If you don’t like kids, don’t have them. Children don’t know shit and they will trust anyone and believe anything. DO NOT betray that trust. Ever. Fucking Ever.
5. Trust Your Gut – God said that He is irritated that we have an intuition and we ignore it so much. If you feel like something is wrong, something probably is. Listen to it. It’s your friend and nay, will it ever steer you wrong.
6. Atone – None of us are even potentially perfect. You will mess up and you will do it often and that’s okay. Fix it. Do whatever you can to make it right. Clean up your mess. This can be an apology or washing cars for a summer to earn money to repair a window you broke. If there is a way to set it straight, do it. Swallow your pride. Wipe your ass.
7. Pull Your Weight – Don’t be a lazy fuck. Contribute.
8. Don’t Trash the Place – God told me that He understands that there will be collateral damage along the way. Just try to keep it to a minimum. Do not apply any undo harm or malice to the Earth or the animals that have to endure the never ending shit storm that is living with humans. Cut back on the bad. Cut way back.
9. Destroy Yourself as Slowly as Possible – Yes, it is cliché to say, “You’re only given one body. Take care of it.” The Lord knows you are not going to stop smoking, drinking, eating bad and finding every other way to pollute your body. Just try to ease up. Life is short (another cliché), but it is really fucking true. There is no need to speed up the process.
10. Struggle – If there is something that you are not fighting day in and day out, then you are not living right. Practice some restraint. Practice, because it must be done with frequency, like anything else, to become better at it. It’s hard at first and that’s good. It will make you strong. Toughen you up. Sacrifice something for someone not because you deem them worthy of the effort, but for the effort itself. Fight some addiction, weakness, habit, character flaw or anything of that nature. Fight it until you defeat it. Then pick a new victim. One foot in front of the next. Character and self-respect are awesome because you can’t fake them.
There you have it, straight from the Horses’ mouth. Oh, I forgot to mention, God is a Horse.
